


Bobby Takes Over

by AGJ1990



Series: Evelyn Winchester [62]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bobby Singer Deals With Idjits, Bobby Singer's House, Gen, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Protective Bobby Singer, Winchester Sister
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-18 13:06:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15486414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AGJ1990/pseuds/AGJ1990
Summary: Another 'what if?' Evy story. After the events of Line in the Sand, Bobby takes Sam and Evy from John.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The characters of Supernatural do not belong to me. The original character of Evelyn Winchester does.

_“You can’t take my kids, Bobby.”_

_“Well, I’m doin’ it, asshat.”_

_  
“You’ve never raised kids, Bobby. It’s a lot different than watching ‘em…”_

_  
“The hell I ain’t ever raised ‘em. I’ve been there for them a hell of a lot more than you.”_

_  
“Bobby, you’re not taking my kids…”_

_  
“It’s me or CPS. Take your pick. They come with me you’ll at least be able to see ‘em.”_

_  
“You wouldn’t.”_

_“Watch me.”_

            The ride from John’s had seemed to take forever, and Bobby was glad that Sam and Evy were both asleep. It gave him time to think. As much as they fought, John was the closest thing to a best friend he’d ever had. He didn’t want to take John’s kids from him. It was a cruel thing to do to him. But, he admitted to himself, it would be even crueler to Sam and Evy to leave them there. John’s drinking was getting steadily worse, and John was gone more than he was home. Bobby had always worried that John was too hard on them, but he’d never doubted that he loved them. He didn’t doubt it now. But whenever Bobby started to reconsider what he was doing, he would think about the handprint still on Evy’s face and the fear in Sam’s voice when he realized he would be going back to his father. Bobby finally pulled into the driveway, parked the truck, then turned to the two sleeping kids. He hated waking Sam, but Sam was too big to carry now.

“Sam. Sam, wake up, buddy.”

  
“Hmm?” A very sleepy Sam stirred.

“Careful, don’t wake up your sister. We’re here.”

“Oh.” Sam said. He yawned and whispered, “I’ll get her.”

“You go on up to bed, Sam. I’ll get her.”

“’Kay.” Sam replied softly, getting out and softly closing the door.

 _Damn Sam must be tired,_ Bobby thought. He hadn’t seen Sam not take Evy ever. Carefully, Bobby unbuckled his seat belt and reached over to pick up the still sleeping Evy. He said a silent prayer the entire time that he wouldn’t wake her up. The last thing he needed tonight was an upset Evy. He succeeded in pulling her out of her car seat, and decided to leave her and Sam’s bags in the car for the night. Bobby felt something slip out of his arms, and Evy immediately woke up, whining.

“Shhh. It’s alright, Baitfish. Go back to sleep.”

  
“S’isy…” Evy said sleepily.

“What?”

“Squish, where’s he?” Evy asked.

Bobby turned and saw the battered black cat that served as Evy’s best friend lying on the ground outside the truck. “I’ll get him.”

  
“Tank ‘ou.” Evy said.

            Bobby handed Squish to her, and Evy cuddled him to her chest and went back to sleep. When Bobby laid her down on the bed she slept on at his house, he pulled her blanket up for her and watched her sleep for a few seconds. He knew he should be worried about his new responsibility, but, at least for the moment, all he felt about it was peace.

“Sleep tight, Baitfish. Uncle Bobby’s got ya. Love you, little girl.”

            Bobby turned and left the room, going across the hall to check on Sam. He expected to find Sam sleeping just like Evy, but instead he found Sam sitting down and staring at his comforter.

“Sam? You alright?”

“Yeah.” Sam said.

“You don’t sound alright.” Bobby said. “What’s up, buddy?”

Sam sighed. “I feel bad for what happened with Dad.”

Bobby nodded. “Yeah, I kinda do too.”

  
“You do?” Sam asked. “You’re not taking us back, are you?”

  
“No.” Bobby said. “I meant what I said. Your daddy can’t separate hunting and fatherhood. It’s not good for you two to be in that lifestyle.”

  
“What about Dean?”

“Dean’s eighteen, Sam. I can’t make him come with me.” Bobby said.

“I know.” Sam said sadly. “I just miss him.”

“Sam, you know I’m not keeping you from Dean or your dad forever, right? You can call either one of them whenever you want, and they can come here and see you whenever they want.”

  
“I know. I’m not mad at you, Bobby. I just wish Dad would be more of a Dad, you know?” Sam explained.

“I know, buddy. I do.” Bobby said. “Listen, we’re all tired. Why don’t we talk more about this tomorrow?”

“Sure.” Sam said. “You meant what you said about me and Evy not hunting, right?”

“Sam, it’s up to you. If you want to hunt, you can hunt. If you want to go to one school, you go to one school. You just have to follow my rules. Basically, let me know where you are and who you’re with, watch your sister for me if I ever do have to be gone for a little while, and do your chores. Can you do that?”

“Definitely.” Sam smiled. “Thanks, Bobby.”

“My pleasure, bud. You go to sleep, okay?”

  
“Okay. Good night, Bobby.” Sam said.

“Good night, Sam. See you in the morning.”

As Sam laid down in his bed, Bobby thought to himself _Here we go._


	2. Chapter 2

Bobby had expected to have the same kind of discussion with Evy that he’d had with Sam, but it didn’t happen. At least not at first. She woke up happy, ate breakfast, spent the day with Sam and Bobby, and got ready for bed easily enough. She asked for Sam to tuck her in, and thirty minutes later, Sam came back downstairs with a smile on his face.

“She says she won’t go to sleep until she gets a kiss from you.”

Bobby chuckled. “I’ll go.”

            When he walked to Evy’s room, he found her playing with Squish, holding him in front of her and talking to him. He watched her for a minute before going in. Evy in some ways reminded him of his late wife Karen. She thought of everyone else but herself. She didn’t trust a lot of people, but when she loved you, she loved hard and absolutely. It was part of what made the whole situation with John so heartbreaking. The night before, when Bobby had announced that he was taking Sam and Evy from John, he had carefully watched both their reactions. Sam was sad to hurt his dad, but Bobby could see the relief that he’d be in a more stable environment. Evy was the picture of confusion. Bobby could see she felt sad about hurting John, but she too wanted a different life. Bobby shook the thought from his head. He had a kid to put to sleep right now.

“You’re supposed to be sleepin’.”

Evy put down Squish, smiled, and held out both arms towards Bobby. “Can’t sleep without a hug.”

“Sammy didn’t hug you?”

“Um….gotta have two hugs.” Evy said.

“Oh, I see.” Bobby moved towards the bed and granted her request. “He said something about a kiss too?”

  
“Yes, please.” Evy said. She pointed a finger to her cheek. “Right there.”

“Coming up.” After he kissed her cheek, he asked, “Ready for bed?”

“I guess.” Evy answered with a yawn.

“I’ll take that as a yeah.” Bobby answered. “Come on, lay down.”

  
“Uncle Bobby? Do you think Daddy’s mad at me?”

  
_Here we go,_ Bobby thought for the second time in two days. “Why do you ask that?”

“Because we left. Me and Sammy.” Evy explained.

  
“You left because you came with me. So if he’s mad at anyone right now, it’s me, not you.” Bobby said firmly.

“If I tell you something, you promise not to tell Daddy? Or Sammy?”

“Secret’s safe with me.” Bobby promised. “What is it?”

“I knew Sammy was running away. Even when he made up that story about Daddy sending us somewhere to stay safe. I knew he was running away and he didn’t want to tell me.”

“How did you know that?” Bobby asked. “Sam said he told you that story ‘cause he didn’t want to scare you.”

  
“I knew he was just trying to protect me. I knew I was supposed to tell Daddy Sammy was trying to run away, and I didn’t want to get him in more trouble than he was already in.” Evy said.

“Baitfish…” Bobby said, starting to comfort her, but Evy wasn’t done.

“I’m glad you took us away. Daddy was always mad and yelling and screaming. I know there’s the monsters and stuff out there, but I got tired of being scared of just being at home.”

“You don’t got to worry about that any more.” Bobby assured her. “I can’t promise I’ll never yell at you, but you’d have to do something pretty danged stupid to get me to do it. You’re not scared of me, are you?”

  
Evy smiled. “No.”

  
“And you know I couldn’t love you and Sammy more even if you were my own, right?”

“Right.” Evy said.

“I’m gonna take care of you, Baitfish. You and Sammy. You’re safe here with me. You got a home, a place to play, a place to go to school….”

  
“No more movin’ all the time?” Evy asked.

“No more movin’ all the time.” Bobby affirmed.

“You promise?”

“Promise.” Bobby said. “Any more questions?”

“Just one.” Evy said. “Are you gonna let Daddy visit us? And Deanie?”

Bobby sighed. “Dean can come whenever he wants to. But your daddy’s gonna have to do some serious thinking first about the way he treated you and Sam. I won’t stop him from coming, but until I know he’s sorry, really sorry, you’re not gonna be alone with him.”

“I don’t want Daddy’s feelings to be hurt. What if he thinks me and Sammy don’t love him anymore?” Evy asked.

“I’m more worried about your Daddy hurting _you_. As far as him thinking you don’t love him, you’ll just have to tell him that when you do see him. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“You feel better?” Bobby asked.

“Yeah. I feel better.” Evy said.

“Alright, go to sleep. Good night, Baitfish.”

“Night night.”

            Less than five minutes later, Evy was fast asleep, and Bobby went to his own bed and crashed. Later that night, Sammy was woken out of a deep sleep by a poke to his side. He sat up, startled, and looked around; but it wasn’t a monster in the room at all.

“Cricket? What is it?”

“Can I sleep with you?” Evy asked.

“Of course you can. Come here.” Sam opened his cover just enough for her to crawl into. She settled down next to him, and Sam asked, “Did you have a bad dream?”

“No. Just wanted to be with you.” Evy said, making Sam squeeze her tight in a hug. He smiled; this was the way they’d slept the two weeks they’d been in Flagstaff. Evy asked, “Sammy? You think we’ll be okay here with uncle Bobby?”

  
“Nope.” Sam answerd, making Evy turn and face him, eyes wide with fright. “I know we will be.”

  
Evy instantly relaxed, and laid back down to go back to sleep. “Good night, Sammy. I love you.”

  
“Love you too, Cricket.” He said. “Sleep tight and don’t worry. Everything’s gonna be great.”

 


	3. Chapter 3

Evy and Sam had been with him for two weeks, and everything had been great so far. The two of them were starting school in another two weeks, and were enjoying time together. But Bobby was lost. He was a strong man, able to kill almost any monster. He normally wasn’t afraid of anything. But damn if he wasn’t being brought to his knees by an upset, crying, and shaking four-year-old.

“Cricket, I’m sorry. I’ve looked through every room.”

“We got to find him, Sammy. Please.” Evy cried again.

“Cricket, I promise I’ll keep looking.”

Evy sniffed. “Where’d he go?”

Sam, who had been searching the house top to bottom to try and find the missing Squish, finally couldn’t stand just letting her cry on the couch by herself. He sat beside her, and Evy climbed into his lap and continued to cry until she just couldn’t anymore. Before Sam could ask her anything, Bobby came back inside.

“Did you find him?” Evy asked hopefully.

“No, Baitfish. I’m sorry.”

Sam wiped Evy’s face for her, and finally suggested the only thing he could think of. “Why don’t you go take a nap, Cricket? You’ll feel better after you get a little sleep.”

“But I can’t sleep without Squish!” Evy said.

“You can sleep right here. I’ll hold you till you go to sleep.” Sam promised.

“We got to find him.” Evy insisted. “What if he’s lonely out there all by himself? He’s the only friend I got.”

“Oh, Cricket…”

  
            Evy soon fell asleep, making Sam’s heart break when he noticed she was sucking her thumb. She hadn’t done it in months, not since the last time she’d been sick with the stomach flu at just under three years old. Sam picked her up and carried her back to her bed, relieved when she didn’t wake up. When Sam walked out of the room, he was met by Bobby.

“Any luck?” he asked.

“No.” Sam said. “Thanks for being so patient with her. Dad would’ve swatted her an hour ago.”

Bobby shook his head, because he sadly believed Sam was not exaggerating.

“I just don’t get it. She fell asleep with him last night and couldn’t find him this morning.” Sam said, before the answer came to him. “No way. It can’t be.”

  
“What is it?”

            Rather than answer Bobby, Sam went to his own room. Evy had come to him in the middle of the night because of a nightmare. Sam hadn’t noticed if she brought Squish with her. Usually she didn’t, but maybe….

“Sam, what are you looking for?” Bobby asked. He found Sam kneeling on his floor looking underneath his bed.

“I don’t believe it.” Sam said, pulling Squish out from underneath his bed.

“What the hell?” Bobby said.

“She slept with me last night. He must have fallen off the bed when she got up.” Sam said. “I know I shouldn’t, but…”

  
“But what?” Bobby asked.

“I think I’m gonna wake her up.”

            Sam walked back towards Evy’s room, where she was still sleeping with her thumb planted firmly in her mouth. Sam got another idea. He took Evy’s thumb out of her mouth, gently placed Squish in front of her, left the room, and waited. An hour later, as Bobby was in the kitchen making lunch for them, Evy’s voice filled the entire house.

“Sammy!” Evy came running full speed in the kitchen, holding Squish tight in her arm. “Sammy, look, he came back!”

“He did? That’s great, Cricket! Where was he?” Sam asked.

“I don’t know. I woke up and he was in my bed.” Evy said. “Maybe he went for a walk and got lost.”

  
“Maybe, Cricket. I’m glad you found him.” Sam said as he picked her up and put her into his lap. “You ready for some lunch?”

  
“Can Squish stay too?” Evy asked. “I don’t want him to get lost again.”

“Squish can stay too.” Bobby said. “What do you want to drink with your lunch?”

“Milk, please.” Evy said, cuddling Squish close to her chest.

  
“Coming up.” Bobby said, happy to be back on track with his happy little girl again. “So where did Squish go for a walk?”

 


	4. Chapter 4

“Uncle Bobby?”

  
“Yeah, Baitfish?” Bobby said, stirring the pot of spaghetti on the stove.

“Can I talk to you about something?”

  
_Uh oh_ , Bobby thought. _This sounds serious._ “Sure. Pull up a chair. What’s going on?”

Evy pulled out one of the kitchen chairs and pulled herself into it. She was still too small to try and climb into them without some work, but Bobby had learned not to try to help her unless she asked for it. Such attempts were always met with a sharp but polite ‘I can do it!’. Bobby kept one eye on the stove and one eye on her, and soon enough, she was in the seat facing him.

“I wanna ask you for something but I think you’re gonna say no.”

  
“Well, you can’t know until you ask.” Bobby said.

“Daddy always said no.” Evy said.

 _That don’t eliminate it none,_ Bobby thought. “What’s going on, Baitfish?”

Evy sighed, preparing herself to be told ‘no’ again. “Can I get a puppy?”

Bobby stopped in his tracks. “A what?”

  
“A puppy.” Evy said.

“Hang on a second, Baitfish.” Bobby said, quickly draining the spaghetti in the sink. Once it was back in the pot, he asked, “Since when have you wanted a puppy?”

“Deanie took me to a petting zoo one day and they had a little puppy there. I played with it and wanted one for myself. I asked Daddy but he said no.” Evy explained. “I asked him again and he got real mad at me.”

Bobby sighed. “I don’t know, Baitfish. A puppy’s a lot of responsibility.”

“What’s that?” Evy asked.

“What’s what?”

  
“Respon…responsib…that big word you said?” Evy asked.

“Responsibility.” Bobby said slowly. “It means it’s a lot for you to have to take care of. A puppy’s a lot of work.”

“I’d do it.” Evy said. “I’d need some help, but I’d do it.”

  
“I don’t mind helping you. Sam wouldn’t mind either. But you got to show me you can do it.”

“How?” Evy asked.

“Well, you know how to make your bed by yourself, right?” Bobby asked, and Evy nodded. “Okay, you have to make your bed every morning, without being asked. You have to keep your room picked up without me asking you, you got to behave in school, and I’ll come up with some other chores for you to do too. If you do all that with no complainin’, I’ll think about you getting’ a puppy.”

  
Evy smiled. “So if I do the chores you give me you promise you’ll think about it?”

“Exactly.”

            Evy impressed not just Bobby, but Sam too. She did all her work at preschool, and brought home glowing notes about her behavior and how smart she was.  She made her bed every morning, and even offered to make Sam’s and Bobby’s for them. She picked up things off the floor, washed the dishes every three nights, and even cleaned the bathroom one day. Finally, three weeks after setting down his offer, Bobby approached Sam.

“Sam? I want to talk to you about something.”

“What is it?” Sam asked, putting his backpack down.

“What would you think about your sister getting a puppy?” Bobby asked.

“Is that what all the extra chores and stuff was about?”

“Yeah.” Bobby said. “She asked me about a month ago if she could have a puppy. I told her she had to prove to me that she could help take care of things around the house.”

  
“Well, she’s definitely done that.” Sam said. “She rearranged my closet yesterday.”

  
Bobby laughed. “I guess that’s a yes, then?”

  
“Yeah.” Sam said with a smile. “I’ve always wanted a dog too.”

  
“Sam…”

  
“I’m not asking for _another_ one.” Sam said. “But I think it’d be great. Thanks, Bobby.” Evy’s school bus pulled up outside the front door. “When do you want to go do it?”

“It’s Friday afternoon. Why not today?” Bobby asked. “We’ll go down to the shelter and adopt one.”

  
“I’m home!” Evy shouted after she opened the front door.

“Hey, Baitfish. How was school?”

“Okay. We talked about our favorite animals and stuff.” Evy said as she walked over to Bobby for a hug.

  
“Yeah? That sounds cool.” Bobby answered, as Evy walked over to Sam for her hug from him.

“What’d you do in school, Sammy?”

  
“I read a couple books and talked about a science project I’m gonna work on.” Sam said.

“Cool! Can I see it?”

  
“When I’m done with it, sure.” Sam said. “Listen, me and uncle Bobby need to talk to you about something.”

“Am I in trouble?” Evy asked.

“Why do you think that?”

  
“’Cause you two look really serious.” Evy said.

Bobby laughed. “It’s nothing like that, Baitfish.”

“We’ve got something to tell you.” Sam said. “We’ve been talking about you asking to get a dog.”

  
“Oh.” Evy said, shifting nervously. “And?”

“Well…” Sam said with a frown. “You want to tell her?”

  
“It’s no, isn’t it?” Evy asked. “You still think I’m not big enough.”

“Actually, we were wondering if you were ready to go right now.” Bobby said, barely managing to hid his grin.

It took Evy almost three full seconds to register what Bobby had just said, but when she did, her face lit up with a smile. “Really?”

“Really. We’re gonna go to the pound and see about rescuing a dog.” Bobby said.

“Rescuing him from what?” Evy asked innocently.

Bobby and Sam looked at each other warily, wondering how much to tell her. Sam ultimately decided on, “You see, Cricket, some dogs didn’t have such a good life at their first home, so when they go to the pound they try to find people who will give them a good home.”

“Like uncle Bobby did for us?” Evy asked.

 _Don’t cry, ya idjit._ Bobby thought to himself. “Exactly right, Baitfish.”

“Cool. Let’s go.” Evy said.

“Backpack in your room.” Sam reminded her gently.

            Three hours later, Evy was home with a border collie named Buttercup. The five-year-old dog was a little older than Bobby had anticipated getting, but as Evy pointed out, ‘I’ll be five soon too, Buttercup.’ Buttercup fit in perfectly with Sam and Evy. With Sam, she begged to be petted and scratched, and with Evy, she would jump just behind Evy’s back, making Evy turn to say ‘peek-a-boo’, before running around to Evy’s front. Bobby had seen Evy happy before, but the pure joy in her face made every penny he spent on the dog worth it and more.

“You happy, Baitfish?”

Evy jumped up from the living room floor where she was playing with Buttercup and grabbed Bobby around the waist. “You’re the best, uncle Bobby! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“You’re welcome, Baitfish. But it’s just about time for bed.”

“Awww!” Evy protested. “But we got a new family member! One more hour, please?”

  
Bobby laughed. “Another _hour?_ ”

  
“Please?” Evy begged again, putting her hands together for emphasis.

“Alright, alright.”

  
“Cricket? This is the _only_ night you get to stay up for an extra hour. Understand?” Sam asked.

“I understand.” Evy said. “Thank you.”

  
“Go. Go play with Buttercup.”

  
As Evy ran off, Bobby turned to Sam and said, “Sam, I love you, but you don’t have to be the parent anymore.”

Sam blushed. “Sorry. Old habit.”

  
“I know. It’s okay. Go on, I know you want to play too.”

            Sam smiled, and Bobby watched the two of them play well past the hour that he’d told Evy she could stay up. They ended up falling asleep on the couch together, Buttercup sleeping between the two of them. Rather than navigating the impossible task of getting the three of them to bed without waking up Evy, Bobby simply retrieved a large fleece blanket from the closet and wrapped it over them.

“Good night, you two.” He said quietly. “Bobby loves you. Both of you.” Buttercup let out a whimper and looked up from between Evy. “You two, pretty girl.”


	5. Chapter 5

            Only on his toughest hunts did Bobby ever remember being this exhausted, and it wasn’t even nine in the morning yet. The living room was littered with ripped paper, various toys and books, a few clothes, and, the present that made Bobby the most nervous, a finger painting set. Bobby had been woken up at five o’clock that morning by an excited Evy, who was practically vibrating with excitement.

“Uncle Bobby! Uncle Bobby! Wake up, Santa came!”

            Now, as Bobby made breakfast, he reflected that it was, by far, the best Christmas he’d ever had. Excited, happy kids, and a tired but content Bobby. Sam had tried to convince Bobby not to “worry about him so much”, and just focus on making a good Christmas for Evy, but of course Bobby had ignored the request and spoiled Sam just as he had Evy. As Bobby poured more pancake batter into the pan, Sam came into the kitchen and let out a heavy sigh.

“What’s with the gruffalumpin’?”

“I called Dad.” Sam admitted quietly, hoping that Evy wouldn’t hear him.

Surprised, Bobby asked, “You did?”

  
            John hadn’t seen Sam or Evy since they’d moved to Bobby’s house. Dean had been a few times, and John had called when Bobby reminded him to, but he hadn’t set eyes on either one of them in nearly six months. He’d sent Bobby money regularly, which Bobby never commented on. He was surprised, but didn’t want to put John on the spot about it and risk him dropping out of their lives forever.

“Yeah. I wanted him to see Evy for Christmas. But he never gave me an answer.”

“You wanted him to see Evy? Not you?” Bobby asked. “It’s okay to admit you miss him, Sam.”

            Sam said nothing, just looked down at his feet. Back in the living room, Evy had a book open in her lap. Buttercup sat beside her on one side, Squish on the other, listening as Evy read to her. Evy hadn’t been reading on her own for very long, so the words were slow and halting, but she made sure to explain each picture to Buttercup and Squish  so they both knew exactly what was going on.

“And there’s the daddy bear…”

  
            Suddenly, Evy didn’t want to read anymore. She felt sad. She’d asked Santa to bring Daddy to her for Christmas, even if it meant he didn’t leave her anything else. She didn’t want to go back with him, just wanted him to come spend the day with her once in a while. Buttercup sensed that something was making Evy sad and placed a paw on the book.

“Maybe later, Buttercup.” Evy said sadly, one tear starting to fall. Buttercup licked Evy’s face where the tears fell and Evy wrapped her arms around Buttercup’s neck in a hug. “Thanks…”

“You just gonna leave me standing here?”   
Evy jumped at the new voice and looked towards the doorway. “Deanie!”

            Before Dean could count to five in his head, Evy had jumped up from the floor and into his arms for a hug. He’d actually been there for close to a minute, watching her read her book, and had only revealed himself when she started crying.

“How you doing, kiddo?”

“Look, Deanie! Santa came for me and Sammy!” Evy said excitedly, pointing towards the messy living room.

“I see that.”

  
“You want to see what we got?” Evy asked.

“That’s why I came.” Dean said, kissing her cheek one more time. “But Santa’s not done yet. He asked me to bring you one more thing.”

“Really? What?”

“Look at the front door.” Dean said.

Evy turned and immediately squirmed to get down. “DADDY!”

            John was shocked. He didn’t know what he expected, but Evy jumping up for him to hold her and hug her hadn’t been it. Evy wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed. After a few moments, she pulled away and stared at him in disbelief.

“You came.”

  
“Yeah, I did.” John said.

“Santa came. Come on, I wanna show you.”

“Lead the way.” John said, placing Evy back down on the floor.

            Evy introduced John to Buttercup, who didn’t take to John at all. She sniffed his hand and walked away, choosing to stick close to Evy instead. When Evy sat in John’s lap, Buttercup stuck to Sam and stared at John. Bobby and Sam noticed right away that Buttercup didn’t trust him, but Evy was so wrapped up in having her father’s attention for once that she was oblivious. After a hearty breakfast, Bobby noticed Evy yawning.

“I think it’s about time for a nap, Baitfish.”

“But daddy’s here!” Evy protested. “Please, no nap, just for one day.”

Sam grabbed Bobby’s arm and whispered something into his ear. Bobby nodded and continued, “Alright, one day. Sammy’s gonna put on a movie. You don’t have to go to sleep, but you do have to stay on the couch with your dad. Deal?”

“Deal.” Evy said with a grin, certain she’d won a great victory.

            Bobby smiled and thought about what Sam had said to him. _Put a movie on and she’ll be asleep in thirty minutes._ Sam had it down almost to the minute. Twenty-seven minutes later, Bobby looked over and Evy was sleeping between John and Dean. John grabbed a pillow, placed it gently under Evy’s head, and stood up.

“I’ve got to go.” He said simply.

 _For sure he didn’t just say what I thought he did._ “Go where?” Bobby asked.

“I’ve got a hunt.”

“Dad!” Sam said, forgetting that Evy was asleep.

“Sam, calm down. I’ll be back, but right now I have to go.”

“No way!” Sam yelled. “What, were you waiting for her to go to sleep just so you could leave without making her cry?”

  
“Sam, watch it…” John said quietly and fiercely.

“Why the hell should he? He’s right.” Bobby said.

“Bobby, what do you want me to do? I’ve got a hunt.”

“Then I’ll take it.” Bobby said without missing a beat. “You stay here with your children.”

  
“They’re not my children anymore. You took them away from me, remember?” John seethed.

  
“Because of your own stupid foolishness…”

“Daddy?” Evy asked, sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. “Why are you guys fighting?”

  
“We’re not fighting, kiddo.” Dean said, trying to stop her from getting upset.

“Yeah, little one, we’re not fighting.” John said. “I’m afraid I have to go.”

Evy’s shoulders slumped in immediate disappointment. “But you just got here!”

“I know, little one. I’m sorry. But I have a hunt and I do have to go.”

A desperate Evy turned to Bobby with tears in her eyes. “Uncle Bobby, will you take it? Please?”

“He can’t little one. I have to do it.”

“Daddy, please don’t go. Please don’t leave.” Evy begged. “I just wanted a Christmas with you.”

“No. I have to go, little one.” John said, trying to be firm but failing badly. “Can you give me a kiss before I go?”

Suddenly Evy’s disappointment melted and she did something that none of them had ever seen her do before. The tears were still there, but they weren’t sad tears anymore. They were angry tears. She crossed her arms across her chest and flatly refused her father’s request.

“No. You can’t have a kiss. Not unless you stay longer.”

  
John was so stunned he was speechless.

“You only came ‘cause uncle Bobby made you and Sammy asked you. You didn’t come because you wanted to. I heard uncle Bobby on the phone with you. He promised that if you didn’t come, he’d drag you here.” Evy said defiantly. “You don’t want me and Sammy. You never did.”

            Evy didn’t give John a chance to respond, just jumped down from the couch and ran to her room. The range of emotions in the room was breathtaking. Dean was sad, Sam was seething, Bobby was pissed, and John was shocked. John ran a hand through his hair, but Bobby pounced before he could say anything.

“Why the hell did you even bother to come?”

“Bobby, don’t start. I have to go.” John said.

Sam walked to Bobby’s desk, pulled open the bottom drawer, dug out a piece of paper, and took it over to John.

“What’s this?”

“It’s her Christmas list. There’s one thing on it. Open it.” Sam said.

John flipped the paper open and his heart cracked when he read the single word. It was written in Evy’s four-year-old messy handwriting, but it was clear and distinct. ‘Daddy’. Sam didn’t wait, just walked down towards Evy’s room. He found her sitting up on the bed, Squish in her lap, Buttercup trying to get her to play.

“You okay?” Sam asked, just as they heard the front door open and shut.

“I’m fine.” Evy said.

“I don’t think you are. I think you’re mad and maybe a little sad. Am I right?”

Evy didn’t say anything, just stared at her feet.

“Cricket, please talk to me.” Sam said. “It’s okay if you’re upset.”

“Santa’s not real.” Evy said matter-of-factly.

“What? Why would you say that?”

“Because if he was, he would have stopped Daddy’s hunt so he could stay.” Evy said. She was still fighting hard to look mad, but it wasn’t working.

“Cricket…”

“I’d give up all my toys and my books and going to school and everything I liked if Daddy would just spend one day with me.” Evy said, the tears starting to fall faster and faster. “So why can’t he give up one hunt for me?”

            Evy lost the fight for her composure, and Sam picked her up to hold her. Bobby and Dean were standing in the doorway. Both had heard Evy’s question, and neither of them could answer. As Sam rocked her to sleep, Evy didn’t see it, but there were tears on Sam’s face as well. No one said anything, for there was nothing to say.


	6. Chapter 6

After Christmas, the entire family tried to restore Evy’s faith in Santa, but she refused to believe again. As sad as it made Sam, he noticed another change that made him just as sad. She stopped asking about John. Whether he was calling, whether he was going to visit, she didn’t seem to care. By the middle of January, the entire family had stopped asking her if she was okay, and had just resigned themselves to the fact that any reconciliation was going to have to happen on John’s part and John’s part alone. Everything had gone somewhat smoothly ever since. Until today. The front door opened, and Bobby immediately went there when he heard Sam’s scolding voice in the doorway.

“Go up to your room, Cricket.”

“Sammy, I’m sorry…” Evy said regretfully.

“Go. Now.” Sam said, pointing at Evy’s door.

“What’s going on?” Bobby asked, curious about what had Sam so upset.

Sam sighed. “She disappeared on me at the park. I couldn’t find her for almost twenty minutes.”

  
“Where was she?” Bobby asked.

“I went to the bathroom and told her to wait for me outside. I came back out and she had gone all the way to the birdhouses on the other side of the park by the time I found her.”

“What?” Bobby asked in disbelief. “What did she say?”

“I was so mad I didn’t give her a chance to say anything. Just made her come home.”

“Alright, you did the right thing.” Bobby said.

Sam sighed. “Maybe I was too hard on her…”

“Sam, you ain’t done anything yet.” Bobby laughed.

“I know.” Sam said. “I’m not sure what _to_ do.”

“You trust me?” Bobby asked. “I’ve got an idea.”

“Sure.” Sam said.

“Alright. I’m going to her room. You can stand next to the door if you want, but don’t come in. Okay?”

Bobby walked down towards Evy’s room. The door was open, and Evy was sitting on her bed, with Buttercup sitting beside her. Evy held Squish in her arms and was scratching Buttercup’s ears. When Bobby appeared without Sam, Evy looked slightly panicked, but didn’t say anything.

“What happened out there, Baitfish?”

  
“I left Sammy and went off by myself.” Evy said simply.

  
“I got that part from Sam. What I want to know is why?” Bobby asked patiently.

Evy sighed. “It felt like Sammy was taking forever, and I wanted to go see the birdhouses. I thought if I went he’d meet me over there.”

  
“You know when you’re not in this house or at school you’re supposed to stay with one of us.” Bobby scolded. “Right?”

  
“Right.” Evy said quietly.

“Baitfish, you can’t wander off by yourself. That’s dangerous. If we can’t find you and something happens to you, how are we supposed to help? Do you understand that?”

“Yes, sir.” Evy said. “How much trouble am I in?”

“Well, that’s up to you.” Bobby said.

“Up to me?”

  
“Yep. I’ll be back in ten minutes. I want you to think about what kind of punishment you think you should get. Remember, Sammy was really scared when he was looking for you. He was wondering whether something happened to you. I want you to think about how you’d feel if you didn’t know where Sam was. You got it?” Bobby asked.

“Yes, sir.” Evy said. 

“Alright. I’ll be back in ten minutes. You stay right there until I come back.”

  
            Bobby left and went back to the living room. Sam, confused at what Bobby was doing, tried to get it out of him, but Bobby wouldn’t tell him. Finally, ten minutes later, the two of them together walked back to Evy’s room.

“You thought about it, Baitfish?”

“I did.” Evy said.

“And? What’d you come up with?”

Evy swallowed hard, nervous about her decision. “I think I should say sorry to Sammy and I should get a spankin’.”

  
Sam started to protest, but Bobby grabbed his arm and shook his head. “Why do you think that, Baitfish?”

“Well, I thought about what you said. I’d be really scared if I needed Sammy and I couldn’t find him. I know I scared him really bad when he couldn’t find me. Getting a spanking scares me, so…”

“So you thought it was a good punishment?” Bobby asked. When Evy nodded, Bobby continued. “Well, I think you’re right.”

  
“Bobby…” Sam asked, but again Bobby shushed him.

“Baitfish, I have a question for you. Do you know what a suspended sentence is?”

Sam seemed relieved, and fought to keep from smiling.

Evy shook her head. “No.”

  
“It means that I think you’ve learned your lesson, so I’m gonna let you off easy this time.” Bobby said.

  
“No spanking?” Evy asked, her eyes going wide with surprise.

“Not this time. But, let me be real clear here. You run away from either of us again, you ain’t gonna be sitting comfortable for a while. You hear me, little girl?”

  
“I hear you. Thank you, uncle Bobby.” Evy said, relieved. She remembered she still owed Sam an apology and turned to him. “I’m sorry, Sammy. Please don’t stay mad at me.”

Sam sat next to her on the bed and pleaded with her. “Please don’t scare me like that again. I love you so much, and I don’t want to lose you. Okay?”

“Okay. I won’t. I promise.” Evy said. “I’m sorry. I love you too.”

  
“We all good now?” Bobby asked.

“Yeah, we’re good.” Sam agreed.

“Almost.” Evy said. She put Squish down and held an arm out to Bobby and to Sam. “Hugs?”

“I think I have a better idea.” Sam said, hooking his hand in the shape of a claw. “I think I feel a tickle trying to escape…”

  
“No! No tickles!” Evy said, tyring to back away from Sam but with nowhere else to go. “Get him, Buttercup!”

            To Sam’s surprise, Buttercup jumped on top of him and started licking his face to get him away from Evy. Evy cheered; it was a trick she’d been working on teaching Buttercup when they were alone. Sam was impressed, and for the moment, they were back to normal. Once everyone had calmed down, Sam granted her request for a hug. For the moment, they were back to normal.


	7. Chapter 7

“Hey, Baitfish, how was school?”

 

Bobby knew the second the question left his lips that something was wrong. Evy was unnaturally quiet. She placed her backpack next to the door, took her shoes off, and walked into the living room to sit down, all without saying anything to Bobby. Bobby, not used to being ignored by Evy, got up from the desk and sat next to her. His suspicions were confirmed; Evy didn’t even move when he took his seat next to her. Though her eyes were staring at the floor, Bobby could tell her brain was a thousand miles away. Bobby gently shook her shoulder, but the six-year-old first grader jumped as though he’d shot a gun right next to her.

 

“Sorry, Baitfish, didn’t mean to scare you.” Bobby said. “I was just worried. Did you hear me talking to you?”

 

“No. Sorry. I was thinking about something.” Evy said.

 

“I can see that. You okay? Did something bad happen at school?”

 

“No. Not really.” Evy said.

 

“Well, you gonna tell me or do I have to tickle it outta you?”

 

Evy swallowed and her eyes immediately filled with tears.

 

“Baitfish, what is it?” Bobby asked. “Come on, you’re scaring me. Are you hurt or something?”

 

Evy shook her head. “No. We had an assignment in class today. We had to draw a picture of our families and talk about them.”

 

“Okay…” Bobby said, and had a feeling he knew where this was going.

 

“Well, most all the kids in my class went before me. They were all talking about their moms and dads and brothers and sisters. And I got to thinking about…”

 

Evy wiped her eyes, and Bobby answered, “You got to thinking about your dad.”

 

“Not just daddy, my mommy too.” Evy said. “I didn’t know mommy and now daddy doesn’t want me. And I got really scared.”   
  
“Scared of what?”

 

“If mommy’s not here and my own daddy don’t want me, what’s gonna happen when you and Sammy don’t want me no more either?”

 

As if he’d heard Evy’s question from far away, the front door slammed and Sam stood there in complete shock. “How could you ever think that we wouldn’t want you?”

 

“Sammy…”

 

“Listen to me.” Sam said, edging himself between Bobby and Evy. “Do you remember when I had you in Flagstaff? What I said to you every night before we fell asleep?”

 

“That you loved me?”

 

“And what else?” Sam pressed.

 

“That you’d always be there for me?”

 

“Exactly.” Sam said. “I don’t know if daddy’ll ever come back to see us. But family isn’t just a mom and dad, Cricket. It’s the people in your life that, no matter what, are always there for you. Now who does that sound like?”

 

Evy sniffed and smiled. “You and uncle Bobby.”

 

“Who else?” Sam asked. “Think about it. Who calls you every night, even if he doesn’t talk to me and Bobby?”

 

“Deanie.”

 

“Right.” Sam said. “See, Cricket, you still have a family. And you always will. It’s a little different from normal, but we’ll never ever leave you. And we would never not want you.”

 

“You promise? Both of you?”

 

“I swear on my life, Cricket. I’ll always love you and be there for you.”

 

“I second that, Baitfish.” Bobby said. “You feel better?”

 

“Yeah. I feel better.” Evy said. “Can I have a snack now?”

 

The night passed uneventfully. Evy clung to Bobby and Sam tighter than normal, each silent request for a hug or a kiss being answered enthusiastically and with no hesitation whatsoever. By bedtime, she was back to her usual cheerful self, even putting up a bit of fight when it was time to go to sleep. But hours after she had fallen asleep, and soon after Bobby and Sam, the peace was shattered again.

 

“Sammy!”

 

Sam stirred and opened his eyes. He thought he’d heard Evy’s voice calling him, but decided it had just been a dream. Evy always came to him when she’d had a bad dream, so she must still be sleeping. Just as Sam was about to fall asleep, the voice called again, this time much sharper and louder.

 

“SAMMY!”

 

No dream. Evy was awake and screaming his name. Sam checked the clock-2:17am. He quickly jumped out of bed and headed towards Evy’s room. He flipped on the light to a disturbing sight. Evy sitting up in bed, clutching at her stomach, tears streaming down her face.

 

“Cricket, what’s wrong?” Sam asked.

 

“My stomach! It really, really hurts!” Evy said.

 

“Let me see.” Sam said. “Do you feel sick?”

 

“Yeah.” Evy said.

 

Sam was alarmed. Evy had been through the stomach flu before, but she’d never been this pained and weepy with it. Sam lifted her shirt and fought a gasp. Her stomach looked swollen, and when Sam moved to gently touch it, Evy shook her head fiercely.

 

“No, no, no, no….”

 

“Okay, Cricket. Hang on, I’m just going to touch your forehead to check for a fever, okay?” Sam said.

 

“No stomach, Sammy, please.” Evy wept. “Please, it hurts so much.”

 

“I won’t, Cricket, I swear.” Sam placed his hand to her forehead and there was no doubt about it. She was burning up with fever. “Cricket, how long have you been feeling like this?”   


“I woke up and felt like there was too much in my tummy. I tried to go back to sleep but it just got worse and worse.”

 

“How long ago was that? Do you know?” Sam asked.

 

“Just a few minutes.” Evy cried.

 

“Cricket, I’ll be right back.”

 

“Don’t leave!” Evy begged.

 

“I’m just going to get uncle Bobby. I swear I’ll be right back.” Sam said, kissing her forehead and not giving her a chance to answer. Sam closed the distance between Evy and Bobby’s room in less than two seconds and pounded on Bobby’s door. “Bobby! Wake up!”

 

Bobby flung the door open. “Sam, what the hell…?”   


“It’s Evy. She’s sick, really sick.” Sam said.

Bobby then noticed how pale Sam seemed to be. “What’s wrong?”

 

“Her stomach. She said she woke up feeling full then the pain got worse. She’s got a fever too.”

 

 _Her appendix_ , Bobby thought. “Sam, go get the thermometer out of the bathroom. Now.”

 

“Yes, sir.” Sam said, without hesitation.

 

Bobby walked down the hall into Evy’s room, finding her still in the same position she’d been in when Sam left. “Hey, Baitfish.”

 

Pitiful, sad, sickly eyes turned on Bobby. “Uncle Bobby, help!”

 

“Okay, okay, let me see your stomach.”

 

“No touch it. It hurts. It hurts a lot.” Evy begged.

 

“Relax, Baitfish. I’m not going to touch it, I just need to see.”

 

Evy reluctantly lifted her pajama shirt and let him examine her stomach. Bobby tried to stay calm, but he could see she was in distress. There was no doubt they’d be going to the emergency room. Sam came back with the thermometer, and Bobby nearly jumped when he read the results. 102.9.

 

“Come on, Baitfish. We’re going to the hospital.”

 

Sam held a still crying Evy in the car, not bothering to buckle her in. Time went quickly, and less than two hours later, Evy was on her way to emergency surgery. The nurses allowed Sam and Bobby to walk down the hall with her but stopped short of the operating room.

 

“You guys have to wait out here.”

 

“Can we talk to her first?” Sam asked.

 

“I can give you a minute. But we have to get her in the OR soon.”

 

“Okay.” Sam turned to the now sleepy Evy on the bed. She had been given a painkiller, so she had finally stopped crying so much, though she was still in some pain. “Cricket, you’re going in now.”   


“I’m scared Sammy.”

 

“I know. But me and Bobby will be right out here, and you’ll see us when you wake up.” Sam assured her.

 

“You’ll feel better once the doctor takes out what’s making you sick, Baitfish.” Bobby said.

“Promise?” Evy asked.

 

“Promise.”

 

“I’m sorry, guys. We have to go.” One of the nurses said.

 

“Okay, Cricket. Just close your eyes and go to sleep, and when you wake up you’ll feel better. I love you.” Sam said.

 

“Love you too, Baitfish.”

 

Evy never responded, because she was already drifting off to sleep and being ushered into the OR. Sam called Dean, who agreed to get in the car and speed towards them as fast as possible. Sam wanted to fall apart, and tried hard to hold it together, but when the third hour from Evy being wheeled into surgery passed with no word about her condition, Sam nearly lost his composure altogether.

 

“What is going on?” Sam shouted, pacing the room for the fifteenth time.

 

“Sam, sit down or you’ll wear a hole in the floor.”

 

“Bobby, where is she?” Sam asked, his voice cracking.   


“I don’t know. We have to wait and find out, Sam. I know it’s hard, but worrying so much about it won’t do any good.”

 

As if he’d heard Sam and Bobby talking, Evy’s doctor came out and walked towards them. Sam’s heart nearly came out through his throat. There was blood on the front of the doctor’s scrubs, and he had a grave look on his face.

 

“Mr. Singer?”

 

“Where’s Evy?” Sam asked immediately. “Dr. Love, where is she?”

 

“I need the two of you to sit down.” Dr. Love said. “There’s been a complication.”

 

“What kind of complication?” Bobby asked as he pulled gently on Sam’s arm to convince him to sit.

 

The doctor took a seat of his own. “We got her appendix out, but not before it burst.”

 

“Oh, no.” Sam whispered.

 

“They’re closing Evy right now. We need your permission to start her on antibiotics for the infection.”

 

“You got it.” Bobby said, taking the clipboard Dr. Love had been hiding under his arm.

 

“Is she allergic to any medication?” Dr. Love asked.

 

“No.” Sam answered. “When will we be able to see her?”

 

“It’s going to take about another hour to finish closing her up and get her stable. I’ve already prepared a room for her. You guys can go up there and wait for her if you want.”

 

“Doctor, I promised her we’d be there when she woke up. Will that be possible?” Sam asked worriedly, the idea of Evy waking up without him scaring him worse than anything.

 

Dr. Love shook his head sadly. “I’m afraid I can’t answer that question right now. We took some samples of her blood, and we’re going to test to see how severe the infection is. We also gave her some really strong medication. Those are the two strongest factors that will determine when she wakes up again.”

 

“Thanks, Doc.” Bobby said. He could see Sam was eager to ask more questions, but he wanted Evy in her room, stable and hopefully feeling a little better, before they took up any more of his time.

 

“I need to get back to Evy. If you have any other questions when Evy’s dropped off back to her room, please feel free to ask.”

 

Another hour passed, and finally Evy was wheeled back into the room that Sam and Bobby had been escorted to by a nurse. She looked even tinier and more fragile on the bed than she had before going into surgery. There was a small breathing tube attached to her, along with a heart monitor that seemed to be beating erratically. Sam tried hard not to cry, but lost the battle. He was staring at Evy from next to the bed when Dr. Love began speaking.

 

“Evy’s infection seems to have kept itself to her abdomen.” He explained. “That’s not good, but it could be much, much worse. We have to give the antibiotics a chance to work, so all we can do now is wait and see if the treatment will work.”   


“Wait how long?” Sam asked.

 

“I’m going to give it twenty-four hours. If there’s no change, I’ll reevaluate and see where to go from there.”

 

“Thanks, Doc.” Bobby said.

 

Dr. Love nodded and left. Sam was still staring at Evy, willing her to move, to speak, even to cry. Anything other than staying completely silent. It wasn’t even nine in the morning yet, he noted to himself, and he’d already had enough drama for an entire month.

 

“Sam…”   


“I’m not leaving her.” Sam said resolutely.

 

“That’s not what I was going to say. You need to eat. I’m going to get breakfast, and I’ll bring it back here, but if you don’t eat, I’ll make you go home and get some sleep. Got it?”

 

Sam looked up and smiled. “You’re not going to make me leave her?”

 

“As long as you promise you’ll eat like you’re supposed to, no.”

 

Sam nodded. “Promise. Thanks, Bobby.”

 

Bobby nodded in agreement, then walked up to the other side of Evy. He placed a hand to her cheek, and pulled it back quickly. Her fever was still there, blazing. Bobby took her hand and kissed it.

 

“I’ll be back, Baitfish. Uncle Bobby loves you, little girl.”

 

Once Bobby was gone, Sam climbed up on the bed next to Evy. He wanted badly to hold her, cuddle her, take her in his arms and never let her go, but he didn’t want to disturb the medical equipment and risk it harming her further. So he took her other hand and pleaded with her,

 

“Please, Cricket. Please, please, please wake up. I can’t do this without you. You mean everything to me. I know you don’t feel good right now, but just fight through this thing and come back to us, okay? Until then, I’m right beside you, baby. Don’t give up. Keep fighting.”

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

Twenty-four hours passed, then forty-eight, then seventy-two. Evy declined slowly but steadily. The smaller breathing tube was replaced with a bigger one when the infection reached her brain and made it so she couldn't breathe on her own. The fever went down to just over 100 and stayed there. Dean showed up the hour after Evy was put into her room from surgery and took turns with Dean and Bobby staying in the room with Evy. Bobby suggested Sam heading to school to keep his mind off things, but Sam fought him hard on the idea, so Bobby quickly abandoned it.

The doctors were baffled. There was simply no reason for Evy's infection to continue the way it was going. Dr. Love kept apologizing to them for not being able to find the reason for Evy's continued illness, and was moved when Bobby told him sincerely,

"Don't apologize, Doc. You've been fighting for her ever since she got here. You're doing your best, that's all we can ask."

When the third night started, Sam was on the bed reading a book to Evy. He had promised her, over and over the previous three days, that if she woke up he'd read her any and every story she wanted. Just as Sam I Am was about to offer the narrator a plate of green eggs for the third time, a voice from the doorway stopped Sam cold.

"Sammy."

Thinking it was Bobby coming with dinner, Sam looked up prepared to ask to be allowed to finish the book first. But Sam just gaped at the figure in the doorway. He stared so long that Dean and Bobby were back in the room before he said anything.

"Sam, I didn't know he was coming, I swear…"

"What are you doing here, Dad?" Sam asked, barely above a whisper, restraining his anger for Evy's sake, even though she couldn't hear him.

John swallowed. He'd known that seeing Sam would be the hardest part of coming back. "Sam, I know you're angry with me."

"That's an understatement." Sam said. He turned to Evy, closed the book slowly and said to her, "I'll finish soon, baby."

"Sam, please…"

"NO!" Sam shouted, making everyone jump, including John. "You can't just ignore her for months then come around when she gets sick and hope everything's gonna be okay. She's  _dying_ , Dad. And she's been sick for days. Where were you?"

"I was hunting in Shreveport…"

"That's exactly the problem!" Sam said. "She needed you. Not just now, but every single day since she saw you last. Do you know you made her stop believing in Santa?"

"What?"

"Yeah. After you left, after she begged you to stay and just spend Christmas with her, she decided Santa couldn't be real if he couldn't leave her the one thing she wanted. And the day before she got sick? She said to Bobby, and I quote, 'If mommy's not here, and my own daddy don't want me, what's gonna happen when you and Sammy don't want me no more either'?"

"I never said I didn't want her…" John objected.

"You never said you did either." Sam countered. "Again, Dad, what are you doing here?"

John sighed. "Sam, I came to see her. And you."

"Sam? I know you're pissed at your dad. You got every right to be. But he does need to be here." Bobby said, trying to soothe the clearly hurt and angry teen.

"Why? He needed to be here for Christmas that day. He needed to be here last Christmas when Evy kept begging for him. He needed to be here all those times she woke up from a nightmare wanting him. He wasn't here all those times I had to explain that it wasn't her fault Daddy wanted nothing to do with her. We did just fine without him then, why should now be any different?" Sam seethed.

"Sam, stop." It was Dean that spoke up this time. "I'm the one who convinced Dad to come. He wanted to come right from the start, but he didn't because he didn't want to face you."

"Please, Sam. I get it. You're mad and you have every right to be. But I just want to see her."

Sam turned, kissed Evy's cheek, promised he'd be back, and stormed out of the room. John sighed; he'd expected worse, but hoped for better. Dean left the room to follow Sam, while Bobby stayed behind. John was casting Evy a forlorn look. She was six inches taller than the last time he'd seen her, but connected to all the tubes and wires of the medical equipment, she looked smaller than ever. He wished for a moment that she would jump up in the bed and into his arms, but that dream was interrupted by Bobby.

"What are you doing here?"

"Bobby,  _please_ , please just give me a minute with Evy first." John pleaded.

"Sam's right. You ain't given that girl five minutes of attention in close to two years and you just want to come swoop in now? What's going on?"

John turned, and when he looked back, Bobby saw that he was crying. "I just…I couldn't let her die and not tell her that I loved her."

Emotional and John Winchester were like apples and oranges. They just didn't go together. Bobby could see the pain the man was in. It killed him inside that Evy might never wake up. But when Bobby thought about all the days that he'd been the one there for Evy, holding her while she cried wanting her father, suddenly it didn't matter what John was doing there. His first priority became Evy.

"You can stay. But you have to talk to Sam too."

"Sam made himself clear. He doesn't want to talk to me." John said.

"You idjit! He's mad and he's pissed off because he doesn't think you want anything to do with him. He's just as hurt as she is." Bobby said.

"That's not possible."

"Damn if it ain't!" Bobby said. "That boy's cried for you just as many nights as she has. Now I'm going home to fix some dinner for all of ya. Talk to her or talk to Sam first, I don't care. But you better start talkin'." Bobby said.

Back in the waiting room of the ICU, Sam was still fuming. How dare his father just show up out of nowhere after so long! It had been two years and he'd seen John a total of twice, counting the confrontation in Evy's hospital room. Sam was taking deep breaths to try and calm himself, when he heard his name being called again.

"Sammy."

Sam found Dean standing there waiting on a response. "What?"

"Dude, look. I know you're mad."

"I am. And don't try to talk me out of it." Sam said angrily.

"I won't. Sam. Just please don't chase Dad out of here. You know him being here is what Evy would want."

"For how long, Dean? Five minutes? Ten minutes? How long until I have to explain to her, again, that Dad loves her and just doesn't know how to show it? How long until I…" Sam stopped short, tears coming to his eyes and threatening to spill over.

"Until you what, Sam?" Dean asked.

"Until I believe it myself."

"Sam?" Dean asked. "What does that mean?"

"You think she's the only one that wanted to hear Dad say 'I love you'?" Sam asked, a lone tear making its way down Sam's cheek.

"Oh, Sammy…"

Back in Evy's room, John was faced with the impossible task of telling Evy exactly how he felt about her. How could he do it? How could he possibly put into words the fact that if he ever lost her, his heart would shatter into a million pieces? How could he say that she was more precious to him that all the silver and gold in the world? That he thought about her every minute of every day, and it killed him that his last memory was of her crying and begging for him? How could he say that? Maybe it would be better to just turn around, leave, and never come back.

Except Evy had other plans.

She woke up and started to fight her breathing tube. Doctors rushed the room, took it out, and were amazed at her seamless recovery. Her fever dropped, her heart rate returned to normal, her stomach was better, and after two days, her appetite was almost completely back to rivaling Dean's. Bobby finally forced Sam to go back to school. Dean went back to Bobby's to get some real sleep, and Bobby left to answer a call, leaving John and Evy alone for the first time in nearly two years.

"How you feeling, little one?" he asked.

"Can I tell you a secret, Daddy?"

"Sure."

"I still feel kinda sick." Evy admitted.

John smiled. "I figured that. You try to be tough like Dean and me when you're sick. But it's okay to admit you don't feel good."

"Daddy, how come you came back? I thought you didn't want me no more."

John's heart ached at that. "That couldn't be further from the truth, little one. I always have and always will love you."

"Well why wouldn't you see me? Or talk to me at all?" Evy asked. "That hurted me, Daddy. In here." She said, pointing to her heart.

"I'm so sorry, little one." John said. He reached over and took her hand in both of his, explaining, "I know you feel like I love hunting more than I do you and Sammy. I don't. But the thought of there being something evil out there that can hurt you scares me. That's why I do it."

"But Deanie and uncle Bobby hunt too. They protect me from that stuff just like you do. They still talk to me." Evy said stubbornly. "You can't love somebody that you make feel bad all the time."

 _How the hell did you get so good at shaming me?_  John thought. "You're right. So I'll tell you another truth. The reason that I didn't come back after that Christmas is because I knew that I'd hurt you really badly. And that thought scared me worse than anything."

"I scared you?" Evy asked. "I didn't mean to, Daddy. I'm sorry."

"No, little one, that's not what I mean." John said. "The thought that I might have hurt you is what scared me. Because that hurt me too. Does that make sense?"

"A little." Evy said. "Are you back for good now, Daddy?"

"I'm still hunting, little one." John said. "But I'll make you a deal."

"What kinda deal?"

"I promise I'll call you at least once a week, and I'll come visit at least once a month." John said.

"How will I know when that is?" Evy asked.

"Well, a week is how long you're in school. So if you get to Friday and I haven't called…" John started.

"I'll turn him inside out with my bare hands." Bobby promised, coming back in with the dinner for that night.

"And I'll let you know if a month has passed and daddy hasn't been to visit." Sam said, coming in behind him.

"Sam? If you want, that deal goes for you too."

Surprisingly, Sam agreed. "Sure, dad."

"Daddy?" Evy asked. "Will you please stay 'til the doctor lets me go home?"

"Sure, little one. I can do that." John said. "You want me to cuddle you now?" When Evy eagerly nodded and stretched out both arms to him, John climbed up on the bed and took her small frame into his larger one. "I love you, little one. Always."


End file.
